Six months. For six months I have lived in Knoxville and I can't believe how fast the time has gone. When I last left you all I was excited about my move to Tennessee and anxious about what lied ahead of me. I was nervous to move to a place where I knew no one and would be living alone. Basically, the thought of being alone at all was scary, a feeling I think many of us can relate to. But you know what, I think I've learned so much from being alone all these months.
First, I learned how to enjoy my own company. When you have lived with someone your whole life you take for granted how nice it is to come home to someone, family, friends, even a random roommate in college. But when you come home to yourself you learn pretty quickly how to enjoy the quiet time. Now I look forward to time by myself to read, think, reflect, write, and be still. I need it.
I have learned how to make a life for myself. For a natural introvert this might have been the most daunting lesson I have learned. It required me to put myself out there, approach people and talk to them instead of waiting for them to come to me, and, scariest of all, go to things alone. I hate going new places where I don't know anyone, alone. But I did it. This also means not waiting to find someone to do things with. If you want to do something, just do it.
One of my bucket list items for my year in Knoxville was to spend time in the Smoky Mountains hiking and exploring. Typically, I would wait to go hiking until someone came to visit, but then I asked myself, "Why wait?" So yesterday, instead of waiting, I packed my day pack, laced up my new hiking boots (Thanks Maddy and Joseph!) and I went for a hike. Alone.
View of the Smokies from the top of the ridge.
This rock field was beautiful it looked like fresh snow.When I first hit the trail I jumped at every sound, afraid it was an animal of some sort lurking in the trees. After talking myself down a little, I kept walking and settled into the peacefulness of the forest. The trail wound around and around, down the mountain. The hour it took me to walk the mile and half into Baskins Creek Falls was a breeze. The forest was quiet and I didn't meet a single soul along the trail. I loved it. After splashing through streams and slogging through the mud, I arrived at the Falls and it was beautiful.
Some of Baskins Creek Falls was still encased in ice after the recent freeze.
Heading back out was a completely different story. I trudged through the mud and streams, uphill for a mile and half. Alone. It was getting late in the day and I knew no one else was on the trail because I hadn't passed a single soul! I started to worry I wouldn't make it back before dark. I had two options: stay here and panic or buck up and get myself up the mountain.
It was a slow, steady climb, but I did it. As I got back to my car the sun was pretty low in the sky, but I had done it! Not gonna lie, there were multiple times on my way back up I wasn't sure I could take another step. But I did. And I'm proud of myself. Granted I won't be starting hikes so late in the day anymore, but I learned my most important lesson yet yesterday. I learned that when the going gets tough I can depend on myself.
I guess what I'm saying is... I am alone. And it's a good thing.
(Full disclosure, writing this in my head definitely kept me distracted and moving forward).
Yorumlar