In March I posted some of my thoughts on the pandemic. I gotta say, I was hopeful and optimistic then. Sure, I was in shock like most when it seemed like the world was shutting down. But I think if we’re being really honest, none of us expected to be 6 months deep into this, with no real end in sight. Ask anyone, we’ve become tired, weary even, of quarantine. So how do we keep going?
It’s hard to be optimistic in times like these. Which is why it’s more important than ever that we all find ways to care for ourselves and others. Don’t get me wrong, I have a love/hate relationship with the term “self-care.” It always seems so elusive, like if you just do enough of these “healthy” activities you will somehow reach a state of inner peace and contentment. Well I am here to tell you, that’s not real.
So how can we reframe self-care into something that’s helpful, realistic, and life giving? I choose to think about self-care in terms of a spectrum of wellness. On one end we have someone who nourishes their mind, body, and soul; on the other someone who struggles with feeling disconnected, unhappy, and discontented. We all consistently move up and down these spectrums as we navigate the stressors of life. But the most important part of practicing wellness is self-compassion.
So, take a minute and consider how you’re doing within each category of wellness. From 1 to 10, 1 being “It’s non-existent” to 10 being “I’m crushing this!” how are you doing with your mental wellness? Spiritual wellness? Soul wellness? Overall wellness? It’s okay if some or all of your answers are a 1. I encourage you to practice self-compassion and remind yourself that this is an ever-unfolding process. Some days you’ll be at a 1, some days a 10, and many days will be somewhere in between. Start practicing a daily check in with yourself to see how you’re doing in these aspects of wellness.
Now you may be wondering, “OK, so I’m not doing as well as I’d like to in some of these areas. What do I do about it?” I’m glad you asked. While the answer is unique to everyone, here’s a few ideas to get you started.
Mental Wellness:
- Therapy. Yah, I know, a therapist recommending therapy…shocking. But I’m not kidding y’all, it
helps.
- Talking with friends about fun things and hard things. Many people hesitate to talk to their friends
about the challenges they experience for fear of burdening them. So, let me ask you, how often have
you felt burdened when a friend comes to talk to you about something hard in their lives? Not very
often, right? It probably feels pretty good to support your friend. It feels good that they’ve trusted you
enough to share something hard. Maybe it was even a nice distraction from the hard things you’re
experiencing. Any way you slice it, 95% of the time, our friends are more than happy to support us. If
you’re still feeling unsure, maybe just ask, “Hey, I’m going through something and I’d like to talk to you
about it. Would that be ok?”
- Do things that you like and make you smile, even just a little bit. For me, during quarantine this has
been things like reading, cooking, and catching up with old friends on the phone.
- Develop some new hobbies. If you’re like me, you’ve lost touch with your hobbies. Maybe because
you’ve been busy, maybe because graduate school took over your life. Whatever the reason, take
some time checking some new things out. You might hate them, but you might find something new
you love! For me it’s been cooking and gardening! It’s been fun to explore new recipes and see my
plants flourish.
- Exercise. Y’all I know we are constantly told to exercise, but it really is important. Take the dog for a
walk or a run, take the stairs, practice some yoga, go for a swim, or go for a family bike ride. I’ve been
riding my bike a lot lately and I have loved it! Makes me feel good and even sleep better!
- Make sure to get adequate sleep! Adults need between 7-9 hours a night.
- Eat well. What we eat impacts our mood, mental clarity, gut health, and overall energy levels.
Spiritual Wellness:
- Attending religious services. For those of you who may be religious, attending services is a way we
can connect to our Higher Power. Many religious traditions meet at least once a week, which can be a
great time to reconnect and reorient ourselves. This also allows us to connect with and be supported
by others who share our beliefs.
- Prayer. Prayer is a powerful tool for many to connect to their Higher Power on a more consistent
basis. It often brings feelings of comfort and connection, even when we are physically alone.
- Personal devotions. This may be a bit different for each person and between different faith
backgrounds. The idea here is to spend time reading, learning, and reflecting on your faith and
spirituality.
- For those that might not be religious or spiritual, perhaps reflect on the things that make you feel
connected to those around you, the world, and to yourself. This can be a spiritual experience as well.
What are those things for you? Could it be being in nature? The smile of your children? Or, seeing
someone perform a small act of kindness? Think creatively here.
Soul Wellness:
This one is the most difficult and uniquely individual aspect of wellness. So, I’ll pose a few questions to get you thinking about what ways you might find soul wellness. Self-reflection is a key component of soul wellness and these questions are a good start.
- What makes you feel alive and excited?
- What makes you feel most like yourself?
- What makes you feel the most connected? Disconnected?
- What gives you a sense of meaning and/or purpose?
- When in your life did you feel most content and happy? What about that time made you feel this
way?
Hopefully, this has gotten the juices flowing. Know that this is just a starting point and wellness is a daily and life-long journey. Be patient with and kind to yourself as you get started. Set small, realistic goals at first and know that sometimes noticeable results take time. If you start to feel overwhelmed, pare it back, but don’t give up. You and your wellness are worth the time and effort!
We are in this for the long-haul folks. I know we’re all juggling a lot, but please know that making time for yourself will have a positive impact in all areas of your life. So, what’s your go-to wellness tip?
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