I've been pretty M.I.A. lately from keeping up with this blog. It seems like that's how it goes when I start a passion project. The school projects always get done and the passion seems to peter out.
My advanced practicum at DePaul University is over and my classes are winding down. With more free time my thoughts have begun to shift to my impending moving to Knoxville, Tennessee. As many of you know and I shared in my last post, I'm moving to Knoxville in July. I found a place to live over Mother's Day weekend and I'm happy to say that I'm already in love with my new home! And I have a second bedroom, so I'm excited to have visitors too!
As I sit here writing this post it seems unreal that after four years in Chicago I'm moving in five short weeks. I remember my first weeks in Chicago thinking that I had a never ending amount of time here. When the Polar Vortex swept over the City that first winter, I was certain I wouldn't survive the brutality of the winters here. But here I sit on a summer day reaching nearly 100 degrees, four years older and I'm reflecting on this leg of the journey.
I started this blog as a way to share what my graduate school journey has been like. But it evolved into something more along the way. It's become a testament of sorts to not only my growth as a psychotherapist in training, but as a person. I've changed more in the last four years then I did in any years before that. For my older readers, me saying that at the ripe age of 25 might not seem like a lot to base that off of. But what other way is there to convey the magnitude that this experience has impact me?
Four years ago I had no idea where this journey would take me. I don't think I really understood what it meant to be a clinical psychologist. Sure, I had an idea, but the reality of it is so different than what I expected. I thought that I would DO something to help OTHER people change. But I didn't account for just how much I would change. Every single client I have had has molded and shaped me. Refined my skill, but also expanded my personhood. In this individualistic and self-sufficient society we often fail to remember just how powerful human connection can be.
Let's try a a little experiment. Think about the last time you took the time to have an open and honest conversation with someone who met your words with acceptance and love. Did you feel connected and understood by that person? Are you smiling now recalling that moment? There. That's my point. Connection feels good. So why do we shy away from it? My work, my personal therapy, and my close friendships these last four years have taught me the power of connection.
At the end of the day, my time in Chicago has been incredibly exciting and fun, as well as some of the hardest years of my life. When I reflect on these years I count them as some of my best, not because I'm living in an exciting city, but because of the relationships that have formed here. Every single one, no matter how long or short they have been, has left their mark. I've learned a lot about theories and skills, but the greatest lesson I've learned during this part of the journey is connection. It's so basic and we are all capable of it. Imagine what the world would be like if we strived for connection rather than distance, if we leaned in rather than pulled away, if we unconditionally accepted rather than rejected. Well, that would be truly beautiful.
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